


Please Let Me Come Home

by MicoolandVav



Series: It's Never So Easy [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Depression, M/M, mention of self harm, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 21:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicoolandVav/pseuds/MicoolandVav
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin has unthinkably offended the very people he loves most, and he spends the better part of two years punishing himself for it. All he wants is to go home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Let Me Come Home

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't really a direct ship, but Mavin is somewhat implied. You could also read into it as OT6, whichever you'd like.
> 
> I've been going through a rough spot in my life, and I really needed to vent out some of the things that I've been feeling. So that's where this fic was born.

Gavin hurt. It felt as though his body had been put through a shredder, his skin stripped into bits and his bones pulverized. It felt as though he was drowning, his lungs pleading for the tiniest bit of oxygen and receiving none. It felt as though he would never wake up, his mind doomed to a constant loop of events that tortured his every moment.

How do you return from losing everything you love most in the world, from being so loved one moment to so hated the next? Gavin simply wasn’t equipped to deal with it. He ached like an old man with arthritis in each individual joint in his body. No amount of glucosamine could absorb this shock.

It took so long for Gavin to cry, but when he did he was in the middle of a supermarket, with a basket that was half-empty. Nothing was ever half-full anymore. His stomach was half-empty, his head was half-empty, and his heart was empty. Without the guys, he felt like there was nothing good in the world. It was tinges of red and blue with anger and deep depression, no bright spots of green or soothing spots of yellow. Just red and blue.

When Gavin screamed for the first time, beat the wall in anger, it was at his shit-hole apartment. The apartment he’d chosen to punish himself in. Empty save for a tiny mattress that he’d bought at a thrift shop. It smelled damp and musty. He hated it. Gavin had never hated anything before, but he hated all of this. He hated being alone, he hated being hated, he hated his life.

Gavin saw Michael for the first time a year later, crossing the street. They’d crossed paths, and when Michael’s eyes met Gavin’s they hardened, but he looked sad. Gavin looked down quickly, hiding the tears that welled in his eyes at the sight of his best friend. He cried a lot those days, even for the little things. He dropped his eggs on the floor a few days prior and he’d curled up on the sticky laminate floor and sobbed like he’d lost his parents for hours.

Ryan and Jack were the next to cross Gavin’s path, but the two men didn’t see him. Gavin wanted to hug them so badly. He wanted to walk up to them and wrap his arms around them and just cry into their stable, strong chests. But they wouldn’t have let him, so he continued on his way.

When he saw Ray, everything sort of shattered. It was the first time in a year and a half that he’d questioned whether or not he could go back to them. Ray had bumped into him rounding a street corner. He’d said sorry, then realized who was in front of him. Gavin almost cried then, too. Ray offered him a small smile and touched his arm.

“We miss you Gav,” He’d murmured, squeezing the Brit’s arm before continuing along.

Gavin had gone home and cried himself to sleep that night.

Geoff was the worst, though. When he bumped into Geoff, Griffon and Millie, he’d ached so terribly for his past life. The man had looked on sadly as his daughter hugged Gavin. Millie wasn’t old enough to understand that Gavin had hurt them. She just loved him unconditionally, and Geoff wasn’t going to stop her from doing so. Griffon had remained silent, but her sad expression had spoken volumes to Gavin. He almost asked them to let him come home. He so desperately wanted to go home.

He didn’t leave his apartment for a week; blood stained his already tear-stained sheets.

At the end of that week, a loud knock had woken Gavin from his stupor. Though the man hadn’t answered the door, he remembered the knocking had persisted for some time. The knocks stopped eventually though, and Gavin had gone and showered after tearing the sheets from his soiled bed.

He hadn’t been able to leave that night, as when he opened the door to go find something to eat, he’d nearly tripped over a man sitting on the floor beside his door. When the hood was lowered to reveal a head of curls, Gavin’s stomach sunk to his feet.

“Have you come to beat me up?” He’d asked, but Michael had simply stood and pulled him close.

“No, idiot. I’ve come to bring you home.” His boi had replied, and Gavin hadn’t been able to hold his tears inside any longer. It was as though his world had suddenly fallen back into place and Michael had reformed his bones and sewn Gavin’s bits and pieces back together. 


End file.
